The Great Snow Storm of 2011

Wow. What an exciting morning we had today! Had my usual Top Chef party the previous night and although sparsely attended it was quite enjoyable: a couple kinds of chili and a few cocktails and we got to watch the latest episode. I saw all my guests home safely and tottered off to bed wondering where all that snow that had been predicted was.
Frank woke me up before my alarm went off imploring me to look at the winter wonderland outside but I knew I’d be seeing it soon enough so rolled over and got a few more zzzs. When I finally roused myself I saw that it was, indeed quite snowy and began to wonder if I was going to be going to work at all. I got a call from a few of my colleagues who were either told to stay home or had decided to do just that so I called my boss to see what was up and he told me to come on in and he’d be there in 10 minutes or so. Darn. Now, I distinctly remember asking Frank if he wanted to drive me to work and him replying that I should be just fine. Hmm.
I backed out of the garage onto what looked like fine powder but was in fact a sheet of ice and immediately slid. I called Frank and told him and AGAIN he said, “I’m sure you’ll be fine; just take it slow.” Hmmmmm.
I made my way out into the street and turned right to go up the hill and found myself, tires spinning furiously, at a complete standstill. After spinning the tires a few more times and sliding more and more I again called Frank and told him to get his ass out here and help me before someone rear-ended me. I turned on my emergency lights and remarked to myself that he sure seemed to be taking his sweet time getting dressed. A couple of cars passed me, luckily without incident.

Frank finally made it out and got behind the wheel and after spinning the tires a few more times and sliding more and more, made absolutely no progress up the hill. I finally got out to push (after falling on my ass, thank you very much) and slowly, slowly we made it up the hill. Meanwhile I called my boss to let him know the situation and started thinking, “I really don’t need to go to work today, even though it is pay day.” We made it up to the light and saw that the main highway was in just as bad shape as our street so decided to attempt to turn around and come back home. We made it down the road and successfully negotiated the u-turn to come back up the road but just had this sinking feeling that the hill was going to get us again. It did. Any vehicle without 4-wheel drive wasn’t getting anywhere on this hill this morning.
We got almost parallel to our driveway when the tires started slipping and we started slowing down. I, again, attempted to hop out and push on the passenger side but it just wasn’t working this time. Meanwhile a guy in a BMW began his ascent up the hill, and seeing our predicament, slowed down. Bad choice, buddy. He immediately got stuck trying to crest the hill. Keeping his situation on hold, we slid our way into our neighbor’s driveway (luckily, not her mailbox) and parked the car. After letting her know the situation we started up the hill to try and help Mr. BMW. Frank tried to push from the side, I tried to push from the back (and promptly fell on my ass again, thank you very much) but to no avail. He wasn’t going anywhere. He began sliding backward so Frank advised him that his best bet for the time being was to just pull it into the ditch in front of our house. He did so, called his wife (who DID have 4-wheel drive) to come and fetch him, so we decided our work was done and climbed back into our nice warm bed.
About half an hour later I was in our bathroom (which overlooks the street) when I heard the tell-tale sound of a struggling engine and futiley spinning wheels and said, “Uh, oh. Here’s another one.” I climbed into the tub and got the window shade open just in time to see a big old truck sliding backwards and sideways down the hill and right into the BMW. Ouch! He joined him in the ditch.

I jumped into my clothes and ran out to assess the damage. The poor guy was quite rueful and, I imagine, already adding up the damage, when he said, “I hit your car.” I told him it wasn’t mine, relayed the morning’s events and asked for his information so I could give it to Mr. BMW when he came back for his car. He gave me the info and we made sad, cold small talk and then began to notice quite a line-up of cars just not quite making it up the hill. Frank had joined us by this time and after seeing 3 or 4 try and fail we decided that perhaps some authorities should be notified. Frank called the police to apprise them of the situation just as a Camaro started its slow and hopeless ascent up the hill. The young girl got caught on the left side of the road, near the grass and we advised her to stay there. Meanwhile, Grandma got caught on the right and was dangerously close to sliding into the truck and BMW. We advised her also to stay there.

Right then a sand truck went lumbering down the other side of the street, making it a bit safer to drive on. We noticed a number of the cars who didn’t make the hill, back down and go up the side of that street (basically going the wrong way on a one-way street) and successfully getting up the hill. Frank decided at this point to go down and direct traffic and head people off from the treacherous hill. A mother and her daughter were out walking and trying to help. When the young gal in the Camaro got out the mom noticed she had a case of beer in the back of the car and wisely advised her to put it in the trunk before the police arrived; which they did just as she got the beer in the trunk.

The police were absolutely no help in the situation. They basically stood around and asked for everybody’s license and scratched their heads and looked cold. I invited Camaro girl into the house to keep warm while we waited to see how we were going to move her car. Finally the sand truck made it back up our street. We were able to get her on her merry way, get truck man out of the ditch and get back to our nice, warm bed!
I left a note on the BMW letting him know I had truck-man’s info. He dropped by a couple of hours ago and we relayed the morning’s events. He looked none too happy but accepted his fate with admirable grace. At that time he still wasn’t able to get his car out but sometime this afternoon he must have ‘cause I just noticed it’s no longer there.
The snow is practically gone now as I write this at 2:30 but I’m still in my nice, warm bed. SNOW DAY!!


One Response to “The Great Snow Storm of 2011”

  1. Amy Says:

    The pictures are a nice touch.
    Did the BMW guy get together with the Camaro girl? I think that would give your piece a nice touch of titillation. If you know what I mean…
    Staying high and dry,


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